A restless wanderer

How to Live Free from Offence

Offence: Basically occurs when we do not process our wounds or we do not process our hurts in Christ like ways. If we do not process something negative properly in the light of Scripture, then it results in an offence. Dealing with an offended heart, it's very vital to Christian maturity. We never mature if we do not deal with our offences, because offences will come.

3 things about Offences:

1. The attack of offence.

Luke 17: 1 King James Version

¹Then said he unto the disciples, it is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!

Offence is a real thing. There will be offences in life. It is impossible to say I have never been offended before. Everybody does get offended.

Offence is a trap that devil uses to bring God's people into captivity. People can be offended to the point where they are fall way from their faith. They are people so offended with the church or it with the leadership that they literally walk away from the faith.

Matthew 24: 10-12 (KJV)

¹⁰And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.

¹¹And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.

¹²And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.

If we allow offence to remain in our heart, it results in serious spiritual consequences. Offence will lead to betrayal. Betrayal will lead to hatred and hatred leads to loss of love. One thing leads to one another. The closer we are to the person, the deeper the offence can be.

The psalmist says, Palms 35; 12-14

¹²They rewarded me evil for good to the spoiling of my soul.

¹³But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer returned into mine own bosom.

¹⁴I behaved myself as though he had been my friend or brother: I bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth for his mother.

It talks about someone close to him. If someone close to us offends us, it hurts even more.

2. After effects of Offence

What happen to offended people?

Proverb 18:19

¹⁹A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.

Once an offence is taken, you will find that a wall is erected, and not jut between the parties, but there is a wall that comes up over the heart that makes one unyielding inside. You refuse to let it go already. It is almost like no matter what good things the other party may do or say, you cannot receive it anymore. There is a wall that comes up over the heart.

This is what happens to Cain in Genesis chapter 4. When God accepted Abel's sacrifice, and rejected Cain's, Cain was deeply offended by God. And he was angry with Able. In the end his anger drove him to kill his own brother. And it brought a curse of God, upon Cain.

Genesis 4:10-14

¹⁰And he said, What hast thou done? the voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto me from the ground.

¹¹And now art thou cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother's blood from thy hand;

¹²When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.

¹³And Cain said unto the LORD, My punishment is greater than I can bear.

¹⁴Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me.

Because of the offence and the resulting bloodshed, Cain brought a curse upon himself. The soul of offended heart is barren. No longer produce fruit. And it is now poisoned by bitterness. The person might still experience the gifts of spirit, but he has difficulties manifesting the fruits, because gifts are operated by faith externally, but the fruit are operated through intimacy internally. Cain became a restless wanderer. Many offended Christians end up with as restless wanderer. They run from one church to another, one ministry to other ministries, unable to put down roots anywhere. Develop a persecuted complex, you begin to feel like everybody is against you, nobody likes me. I think I feel like to eat some worms.

Genesis 4:13

¹³And Cain said unto the LORD, My punishment is greater than I can bear.

But Cain develops a persecuted complex. He feels that anywhere he goes, people will kill him. Anybody dislikes him, any body sees him will hates him. That is absolutely not true. Every way they go they carry the same offence. And they feel like everyone around is rejecting them. Over time, they isolate themself build a wall around their hearts, in order not getting hurt again. And this is become worse. It ended with a result of rejection, offence, and spiritual wanderer, who unable to put down the root anywhere. God never wanted anyone to become spiritual wanderer.

Genesis 4:15

¹⁵And the LORD said unto him, therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the LORD set a mark upon Cain, lest any finding him should kill him.

God wanted Cain to master his negative emotions. And break free from all offences. That is what god desires.

Genesis 4: 6-7

⁶And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?

⁷If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.

God desires is that we mastered our own negative emotions and break free from offence. God's desire for us is that we flourish where we are planted. Not just to manage, but to flourish.

God planted you in His church, so that you may flourish. Only those who are planted in the house of the Lord may flourish. You must be planted, put down your root, and you will see the plan grow and flourish.

Many people change church from one to another church, they cannot make their root on the ground, they cannot flourish, they become spiritual wanderer.

3. An Antidote to offences

How do we break free from offences? The key is to pursue reconciliation.

Matthew 5:21-24

²¹Ye have heard that it was said of them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment:

²²But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

²³Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;

²⁴Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

As part of the sermon in the Mount, Jesus outlined a radical demand of discipleship. You have heard it said, but I tell you, (means this is what normal and this is what is radical.) Jesus is more radical. Means if you follow Jesus you have to be radically different. Notice that it did not said that if you have something against your brother, but said, if your brother has something against you. The onus is on you and me to seek the reconciliation, even if we are the offended party. That's why it's radical. In normal way, if you do something wrong, you go and say sorry. But this is more radical than that, I've been wronged against, but I still go and say can we reconcile? One man practicing reconciliation is better than one hundred preachers preaching it. And forgiveness is at the heart of the reconciliation. It's the only way to break out offence.

Romans 12:17

¹⁷Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.

Don't overcome evil with evil. Overcome evil with good. You can't get ahead when you always want to get even. God is never more real to us when we forego the right to retaliate, and we choose to forgive instead. Even when it is not our fault. At this point, love step in, not to cancel out truth, but to control it. Because if God's love, we choose to over-look the offence.

Proverb 17:9

⁹He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.

The more we talk about other peoples wrong deeds, the more we sow by vicarious anger. But the more we overlook an offence, the more we promote love.

Proverb 19:8

⁸He that getteth wisdom loveth his own soul: he that keepeth understanding shall find good.

We learn how to overlook an offence from the story of Joseph. Joseph and his brothers, and how his brothers sold him into slavery. Joseph can make a justice to his brothers and wax them for what they have done to him. He had opportunity and right to do that. They lied about him, they plotted against him, and they sold him as a slave for foreign land, they want to kill him in fact. He ended up by being a slave, seduced by his boss wife, and become a prisoner. He did nothing to deserve these. But now God made him a prime minister, his brothers are kneeling before him. His brother didn't even recognize him. Joseph knows them, and could have retaliated

He feels the pain comes up, he'll be stupid to say there is no pain. He stepped up out the room, cried his heart out. And then he comes back, take the high road, choose mercy. Choose reconciliation. Choose forgiveness. That's overlooking an offence. He chooses reconciliation in action. The secret is, he chooses not to remember.

Genesis 41:51

⁵¹And Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh: For God, said he, hath made me forget all my toil, and all my father's house.

God had made me forget all my troubles, and all my father household. God can help us to forgive and forget. Because if we don't the one that hurt, is our self. Not worth it.

Why God allows us to be offended? The Lord often brings changes to our life, by allowing us to be offended in the very area of our character that needs transformation. Lord allows me being offended to the place that needs transformations. If I have pride in my life, God will allow something to happen that offences me. Because my pride is hurt.

A story about a great General Naeman. He had leprosy, he needed healing, so he went to the man of God, and said "pray for me". The man of the Lord did not do what he wants, but said to him "go and wash your body in the river of Jordan". He was so offended, said the bible. But his young maid said why you can't humble yourself and received your healing. He almost lost his breakthrough. His offence nearly cost him not receiving God's mercy.

Matthew 15: 21-28

A Canaanite woman, She has a daughter who is sick, so she comes to the Lord, ask for healing. And Jesus turns out to her and said this. "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel." But this woman mastered her emotion, and turns to the Lord and said, "Yes, Lord," she said, "but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table."

Jesus said "I have never seen greater faith in Israel." Instantly, the daughter was healed.

She didn't miss the miracle, because she has offendable heart. She refuses to be offended, that's why she receives the healing.

My own written note from a Benny Ho's sermon.